


Sunshine

by ocqanda



Category: Original Work
Genre: Camping, F/M, Fluff, OC, OCs - Freeform, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-27 18:24:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14431485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocqanda/pseuds/ocqanda
Summary: After being kidnapped and imprisoned in his childhood nightmare, Shadow escapes after 6 years and comes home to find his whole life has changed. His wife has moved on, his kids have grown up, and nothing's the same. After two months of living with his former sister-in-law, who has experience in dealing with PTSD, feelings are starting to grow. Will a camping trip help them sort it out?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shadow is my own OC, and Gini belongs to my friend, Soda. This was written to go along with an AU we're rping, where Shadow was kidnapped and goes to live with Gini after 6 years of torture. You can read about Shadow's backstory here (ocqanda.tumblr.com/about) which I would recommend doing before reading this, just so you understand where exactly he's been for the past 6 years and why he needed help with PTSD.
> 
> I'm not sticking to a schedule with chapters on this so it'll be updated whenever.

‘She’s like sunshine.’  
Is the one thought that comes to Shadow whenever his former sister-in-law smiles at him. The warmth that always seems to spill from Gini has an intoxicating effect that he finds hard to ignore. It’s the polar opposite to how Sharon usually smiles; where hers are laced with an underlying sense of smugness or, more often than not, closer to a smirk. Shadow himself is not much of a smiler. It isn’t the sort of thing his face tends to do on its own unless it’s to prove a point of sarcasm or it’s entirely forced. But when Gini smiles it’s as if her heart is laid out across her face, and a light switches on inside her.  
The first time Shadow met her he hadn’t known what to make of her. She had immediately gotten into his personal space for a start and seemed insistent on touching him. Her gestures were meant as friendly, and this took him by surprise, if only because he had been expecting someone more in line with Sharon, who was anything but. Straight away, without knowing anything about him, she had offered him a smile so genuine that it creased the corners of her eyes and seemed to radiate through her whole body. This was certainly not the kind of reception Shadow was used to, and out of a lack of knowing how to respond he closed himself off from her - not only in their first meeting, but in all the ones that followed.

Although outwardly it more than likely seemed to Gini that she irritated him, Shadow secretly relished every time he saw her. Her presence was like nothing else he had ever been around. To him, she was like a hurricane of joy and light, and from the second she entered a room the entire atmosphere would shift into something easy and bright. It’s as if she carries summer around with her and sprinkles it wherever she goes. This is one reason why Shadow insisted on a camping trip; it’s his idea of fun, and he feels he needs to make up for his previously cold behaviour.  
It’s been about a couple of months since Shadow came home. The past six years still weigh heavily on his mind, but Gini had helped him through the worst of it and at this point he was almost back to normal. At some point he had accepted that his kids aren’t kids any more, and what he used to call ‘home’ isn’t his home any more. In the back of his mind he’s even glad that Sharon has moved on; it would be worse if he had come back to find her alone. He’s glad she’s trying to be happy, and as far as everyone else seems to be concerned, “it’s about time you tried to be, too”. And so here he was, walking along a trail in the middle of the woods, with Gini skipping along beside him.

Spring is well and truly underway. There are earthy scents and bird songs in the air. Gini can’t tell if they’re following a set path or not, but Shadow has been out this way too many times to get lost. It doesn’t take them long to reach a particular clearing in the trees, where the ground is flat enough to set a tent up and it’s far enough out from the beaten trail that they should be left alone. This time of year, the clearing is filled with patches of daisies, which Gini notices and hurries toward in excitement.  
“Ooh, Shadow look, they’re so pretty!”  
If he had come back home the same person he had been before, he would have flat out denied that and ignored her. But living with Gini for months and spending every day together makes you soft.  
“Yeah, they are.” Not soft enough to admit that he loves flowers.  
Gini kneels amongst a patch of daisies and looks up at him with a smile, “Do you know how to make a daisy chain?”  
Shadow snorts in response, and kicks absently at a spot on the ground - no stones, a perfect spot for a tent.  
“Can’t say I’ve ever tried.” He says, slinging the pack off his back and dumping it down for later.  
“What?” Gini gasps, seeming almost offended by this, “Well I have to teach you right now!”  
She pats a spot in the grass in front of herself and Shadow sits down, pursing his lips as he waits for further instruction. Gini plucks enough daisies to make a small chain and begins to run through the basics of daisy chain creation. Her hands move expertly, and Shadow watches closely as the loose flowers form together into a chain. Delicately, she puts the two ends together to form a bracelet, and with a giggle she puts it around Shadow’s wrist.  
“See? It’s easy!”  
Shadow examines the bracelet with interest and takes a mental note of the fact that this is the first time in his life anyone has ever offered him flowers. Copying her method, he starts making his own version. Gini watches him for a while, a pleased look on her face. She can’t think of a time she’s ever seen him so invested in something, at least not to the point of sticking his tongue out in concentration. She supresses a laugh and turns her attention to making another chain.  
They sit in relative silence as they chain together the dainty flowers. Occasionally Gini hums a song Shadow doesn’t recognize, but in his head, he uses the melody to remind himself of what to do; pinch, squeeze, pull through - pinch, squeeze, pull through. By the time Shadow finishes his first chain, Gini has already completed five, all of which she drapes around his wrist to join the first one.  
“You look pretty.” She points out, admiring her handiwork.  
“Not as pretty as you.” And with that Shadow lifts his creation - a halo of daisies - and places it on top of her head.  
Gini’s cheeks are rosy and the daylight pouring into the clearing dances off her hair. She offers a warm smile, the kind of smile that always catches Shadow off guard, and his breath hitches in his throat. Something stirs in his chest, a fluttering that he’s been noticing increasingly over the past few weeks. He knows what it means, he’s felt it before, and up until now it had only been a niggle that was fairly easy to ignore. Like a minor itch that wants attention but doesn’t demand immediate scratching. But of course, if you don’t deal with it, it only grows out of control, until it’s all you can think about. Shadow gazes at her, and he can’t hide the look of longing on his face. Gini blushes. 

-x- 

The sun is setting, and the sky is a gradient of pleasant pumpkin peaches and sombre lilacs with no clouds in sight. In the centre of the clearing stands a small tent, surprisingly well put together considering it had been hidden away in a cupboard for years and Gini had suspected some poles to be missing. A few feet from the entrance a small fire is burning away to nothing, and a couple of half-finished mugs of hot cocoa sit unattended next to it. Shadow emerges from the surrounding trees, his arms filled with twigs and small logs to stoke the fire with. After realising that Gini doesn’t share his unnaturally warm body heat, and that keeping a fire going for her sake was probably a good idea, he took it upon himself to gather kindling. After dumping some of the wood onto the fire, and making sure it stays lit, he looks around the clearing and spots Gini lying on her back in the grass.  
“What'cha doin’?” He asks as he approaches, standing over her and blocking her view.  
“Watching the stars, silly. Come on, it’s fun!” She smiles that smile and Shadow obliges without question. 

They lie side by side, staring up at the expanse of stars that are starting to show themselves as the sun sinks lower past the horizon. Gini lets out a content sigh and allows her hand to fall into Shadow’s. His fingers intertwine with hers, and the heat from his skin warms her hand quickly. It’s a welcome relief from the chill starting to seep into her. At the risk of being caught Gini turns her head to look at him. Often, they’re close like this and Gini takes comfort in it, but a part of her wishes she was less patient. Would it help him to continue waiting until he’s ready for something more to happen, or does she have to make him ready? Sometimes her mind wanders and she thinks of how things could be. How she’s always wanted a family of her own, and although at first Shadow might seem a poor choice, especially to someone basing their opinion solely on appearance, and perhaps on his attitude toward a stranger having that opinion, she knows otherwise. Sometimes she thinks of more frivolous, cliché scenarios involving first kisses and romance, and it gives her a small sense of peace when she realises a lot of the things she imagines are things they do together already. Like holding hands (everywhere they go), and watching their favourite shows together (or rather, her getting him invested in all of the shows she likes, because he’s never been one to watch tv much, but now they sit and criticize all of the Desperate Housewives and come up with theories about plot lines in Pretty Little Liars), cooking for each other (he always makes breakfast, she always makes lunch; they make dinner together), and -  
“You’re staring at me.” His voice pulls Gini out of her thoughts abruptly.  
Shadow’s looking straight at her, and she’s not sure how long for. Gini’s face flushes in embarrassment, but before she can explain herself Shadow starts laughing. It’s a rich, deep sound that she’s come to appreciate, because she doesn’t hear it as often as she’d like to.  
“You keep spacing out. What’re you thinking about?”  
He studies her face. There’s a crease between her eyebrows that he’s always thought was cute, and a look in her eyes that means he’s just interrupted something. Gini racks her brain for a good excuse.  
“I’m just cold.” Is the best thing she can come up with.  
Shadow frowns and makes a move to touch her face with his free hand. The movement means he must roll slightly onto his side to reach, and they end up mere inches apart from one another. He rests the back of his hand against her cheek and finds it is indeed cold, despite the heat Gini can feel rising to her face. His frown deepens.  
“Well why didn’t you say so? C’mon, we’re too far away from the fire.” His hand lingers for a moment before either of them move.

They make their way over to the fire, which is now cracking and hissing away gratefully at the added wood, and Gini settles down close to it. The grass has a pleasant warmth to it, and she spreads her hands out into it with a smile. Shadow sits next to her and reaches for the pack he brought with them. From inside he pulls out a mini frying pan and a packet of sausages.  
“You hungry?” He asks, and Gini nods in response.  
Soon the air is filled with the smell of food and the sky has fallen into a deep indigo. The only light is the orange glow of the fire and the bright pinpricks of the stars. There’s no way to tell just how big the clearing is any more, the surrounding space is too dark to make out the edges of the trees and it gives the illusion of being in a bubble; just the fire and the tent, and the two of them. They finish their sausages, and Gini refills their mugs with more hot cocoa from a thermos they had filled before leaving home. Shadow reaches into the bag again and pulls out what looks like a couple of muffins.  
“What are those?” Gini enquires as Shadow hands one to her.  
He lets out a wistful sigh, “Well, y'know when you woke up a couple of days ago and you thought you could smell bananas or something, and I told you it was nothing? I was actually making these.” He pauses, and then adds, “But I ain’t a baker so they’re probably shit.”  
Gini lets out a giggle. If there’s anything Shadow has learned from spending so much time with her, it’s that she has different giggles for different situations. She has one that means ‘that wasn’t funny, but I’ll humour you’, and one that means 'what you just said is dumb, and I’m not sure whether to laugh or to correct you’. There’s one for when she’s surprised, and one for when she saw something coming. There’s one for when she’s glad she could make someone happy, and one for when someone makes her happy. And then there’s the one she uses now, which is new and Shadow’s not quite sure what it means yet.

The light is too dim to fully make out the extent of burn damage on one side of her muffin, but Gini takes a bite anyway. She was expecting to have to lie about how it tastes, but it’s not as bad as it seems, albeit a little charred.  
“It’s good!” She assures him, but the look on his face is doubtful.  
Gini wonders if he does these things on purpose. Things that make it seem like he’s trying to tell her something without using the words. But Shadow doesn’t strike her as someone who understands subtlety. And yet he’s the only person that has ever baked something for her, secretly, and revealed it on a camping trip, which in itself is an intimate type of adventure to take someone on. He’s brought her flowers, for no reason other than, “I dunno, they made me think of you”, and is that not the type of thing a person does when they have feelings to share? The doubt on his face is mirrored in her thoughts.  
Similarly, Shadow isn’t sure if Gini looks at him as anything other than a patient, or a friend. A lot of the things she does could be explained away by her simply being a nice person, at least in his mind. He watches her quietly as she eats. Something about the way the fire casts light onto her face makes her look even more beautiful than usual. Shadow finds himself staring, trying to commit this image of her to memory. Her hair falls about her shoulders in light honey-coloured curls that he would happily run his fingers through a thousand times over. Her eyes are fixed on the fire, and the light is reflected in them in such a way that makes it look as if they’re sparkling, and full of life as they often look. The dry heat from the fire has warmed her skin to the point that her natural scent perfumes the air about them. Shadow’s never been very sure if other people experience scents in this way, or if it’s just because of his wolf sense of smell, but everyone has their own and he happens to find Gini’s particularly pleasing. Like raspberries and cream. Gini is aware of him looking at her in her peripheral vision, and she keeps her eyes fixed in front of her, so he doesn’t look away.

-x-

“There’s only one sleeping bag.”  
It is now pitch-black outside, and the fire is dying out. Whatever nocturnal creatures lurk in the trees nearby have decided to wake up and a buzz of faint chirps and creaks hangs in the air. The atmosphere shifted so quickly that it had spooked Gini, and along with the drowsiness brought on by a mug of cocoa and the close heat of an open flame, she had decided it was time for bed. She kneels by the open entrance to the tent, the single sleeping bag draped across her legs. Shadow looks up from his spot outside, where he is packing up their things to stop any animals from sniffing around during the night.  
“Shit, well… it’s fine, you take it. I don’t really get cold.” He shrugs.  
This is true, but thinking about it still makes her feel guilty, and she shakes her head.  
“That’s not very fair…”  
“Gini, it’s fine. I can see you shivering already, so the quicker you get in there, the better.”  
Again, this is true. She already has on her woolliest socks, and Shadow had more than happily handed over the hoodie he had been wearing, which is far too big for her. Yet the outdoor temperature had plummeted as soon as night fully came, and it didn’t help that they already ran out of wood for the fire. Begrudgingly, she wriggles into the sleeping bag.  
Shadow crawls into the tent once everything outside is in order and zips up the door. 

As soon as the flap closes it gets significantly darker inside the tent, with only a faint glow from the few embers left outside to see by. Gini snuggles up inside her sleeping bag, rubbing her feet together to try and create some heat. They lie quietly for a moment until Shadow lets out a sigh. It’s not the kind that sounds impatient, but rather that something he had thought about has been confirmed. Without asking he starts unzipping the sleeping bag.  
“What are you doing?” Gini sounds slightly alarmed, if only because the gap in the bag is allowing a draft in.  
“I can hear your teeth chattering, and I’m never gonna sleep with that in my ear.” Shadow replies as he squeezes himself in beside her and pulls the zip back up.  
He wraps his arms around her and a rush of warmth washes over her. Gini’s thankful for the darkness, but just in case Shadow can somehow see how red her face is, she hides it under his chin. It’s certainly not the first time they’ve slept next to each other. The excuse they use is that it prevents Shadow from having nightmares. But camping in the middle of nowhere, with not a soul around, relying on his body heat to stop her from freezing, leaves Gini feeling vulnerable, and in turn, embarrassed.  
“What if… something attacks us?” She whispers.  
“I’m not gonna let anything hurt you.” Shadow mumbles in reply, and it’s not until he speaks that Gini realises his face in pressed into her hair.  
There’s a genuine sound to his words and Gini relaxes, but the adrenaline brought on by their present location stays in her system. She doesn’t think over her next question as well as she usually would.  
“Shadow, how do you feel?”  
There’s a tense moment of silence in which she braces herself for his answer by curling her fingers into his shirt.  
“Like I’m in a tent.” There’s a laugh in his voice.  
Shadow’s not sure what exactly Gini is asking, but he has an idea. He’s never been much of a liar, especially when it comes to emotions, even if displaying them isn’t something he’s talented at. But he wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with her, and especially not in the dark, in a tent.  
“What do you mean?” He decides he needs clarification.  
Now Gini is quiet, and she bites her lip as she thinks on how to rephrase her question.  
“How do you feel… about me?”  
She can feel him tense next to her, and immediately Gini regrets asking. She falls silent as she waits for his answer.  
Shadow isn’t sure what to say. It was easy to keep that fluttering in his chest under control while it was just an idea, and not a real thing that he had to deal with. But as soon as the words are out of Gini’s mouth, the sensation bursts into a torrent of scared butterflies trying to free themselves from his flesh. Is she asking out of curiosity only, or has he been ignoring something more the whole time? He wishes he could see her face, the tone of her voice isn’t enough to go on. The silence between them stretches out as Shadow internally wars with himself. What is the right answer? What does she want to hear?

Gini almost speaks again before Shadow finally answers, and when he does his voice is quiet, barely more than a whisper, “I fucking love you.”  
Something inside Gini bursts when she hears those words. Everything she had been holding back due to fear and doubt bubbles to the surface, and before she can stop it her eyes fill with tears. The fingers in Shadow’s shirt tighten, and although their bodies are already flush with each other she tries to grab him closer to herself. Relief and excitement spill out of her, and although it’s too dark to see anything, she puts her head back as if to look at him.  
A giggle escapes her, and before she says anything Shadow suddenly realises what it means, “I love you, too.”  
Her breath fills the small gap between them and for the first time since Shadow realised what these feelings were, there’s a sudden freedom to act on them. His hand finds Gini’s cheek, and his thumb extends in the darkness to brush across her lips. Gini closes her eyes, although it makes no difference, and her hands snake up to rest on his chest. She can feel the fast-paced drumming of his heart and imagines how flushed his face must be. There’s an absence on her lips for a short moment as Shadow moves his thumb and replaces it with something softer. For a long while Gini has wondered what it might feel like to kiss him, and Shadow has thought the same thing of her. Like everything they do together, they’re soft with each other, so gentle and comforting that they kiss one another to sleep, and dream about each other.

-x-

Gini wakes up to the sound of bird song. The morning sun casts a soft light through the tent, and she rubs the sleep from her eyes. As her vision focuses she looks at Shadow, still fast asleep with his mouth hanging open and snoring quietly. A smile spreads across her face as she remembers the events of last night. Part of her sends up a silent prayer, hoping that it wasn’t all a dream. She studies the man next to her, as she often does when she’s the first to wake up. Like looking at clouds and finding shapes in them, she passes a few minutes by looking for patterns in his freckles. Her fingers stroke his cheek when she finds a patch that look vaguely like a star, and he stirs at her touch.  
“Mornin’.” Shadow murmurs, still drowsy.  
“Good morning.” She pecks his lips.  
As if this was a regular occurrence, Shadow leans forward to plant a second kiss on Gini’s lips. They smile at each other warmly.  
“D'you want breakfast?” He asks.  
“Sure.” Neither of them tries to move.  
Things are the same, and yet everything is different. There’s a happiness in what used to be an empty pit at the base of Shadow’s stomach. He admires Gini, for the first time unashamedly, his eyes fixed on the blue depths of hers. A weight he didn’t realise he had ever been carrying has been lifted. Something he confessed last night needs to be reiterated, to make sure she truly understands.  
“I really fucking love you, y'know.”  
There’s that smile, the one that lights up her whole face, “I know.”  
“You’re like… sunshine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second day of the camping trip.

The morning passes by in a happy haze, the atmosphere rich with blossoming emotions and giddy feelings. Shadow and Gini flit about each other playfully throughout breakfast, letting insignificant touches linger into having meaning, and barely taking their eyes off each other. After spending some time watching the clouds together, Shadow decides to take Gini to a nearby lake for the afternoon, which is a place he usually makes a point to avoid but thinks she might like. As always, they walk hand in hand, holding tightly on to each other as they make their way through the thick of the woods. It’s a perfect day as far as Gini is concerned; so perfect that as she takes in her surroundings she fails to notice a large moss-coated root jutting out of the ground until her foot is hooked around it. She stumbles clumsily, only keeping her balance because of her grip on Shadow’s hand.

“That’s what happens when you wear high heels in the woods.” He smirks at her and puts his arm around her waist, so she can steady herself.

“Well I didn’t have any other shoes. And I like to look nice.” Gini huffs, letting her weight lean into Shadow.

“You always look nice.” He smiles and lowers his head toward her.

The air between them is thick with anticipation, and it draws them in to one another slowly. They pause at the last second, eyes half shut, feeling each other’s breath tickle their cheeks, before they close the gap. Shadow finds that Gini’s lips are cool, and yet as soon as they touch him a fire spreads beneath his skin and urges him to trail his hand up her arm until it finds her hair. His fingertips leave a trail of goose bumps in their path, and a shiver runs up Gini’s spine. Her mind empties of any thought and gives itself over to the sensation of her own lips moulding to the shape of Shadow’s, which despite being pleasantly soft are also firm. They pull apart reluctantly, skin tingling from the release of contact, pupils blown wide in infatuation. There’s a moment of silence as they hover closely, looking into each other’s eyes and admiring the colours of them, before Gini suddenly laughs.

“What?” Shadow chuckles simply from the contagion of it.

“Oh nothing, it’s just that your face is bright red.” She covers her mouth with her hand to suppress another outburst.

“Are you seriously making fun of me right now?” He retorts with a childish pout.

Gini throws her head back in more laughter, “It’s really cute!”

With a huff Shadow crosses his arms; he can feel his ears getting hot.

“Shut it.”

Gini snickers as the continue their journey.

Pine needle coated trails give way to open stone paths and instead of walking amongst the trees, the couple end up on the treeline where they can follow it stretching out before them down a sudden hill. The slope flattens out at the bottom before it merges with clear blue water at the lake’s edge. If there wasn’t a risk of getting wet Shadow would gladly roll all the way down the hill. They rest near the trees, where the view of the lake and the surrounding area takes Gini’s breath away - it’s not somewhere she ever thought was close to home.

“How did you find all these places?”

Shadow shrugs, “I like to run around.”

This is an understatement. Running isn’t an activity he does very often, mainly because over the past years before his disappearance his life had taken a domestic turn. But the part of him that isn’t human longs to be out here frequently; to run around through all the different scents and sounds, and to hunt anything from rabbits to deer, because it’s where the other half of him belongs. It’s his home away from home. Gini isn’t surprised, but her imagination goes to pet dogs rather than wild wolves. She laughed the first time she scratched behind Shadow’s ear and he had rolled over for a belly rub. It would have been less funny if he actually looked like a dog at the time. She doesn’t know if werewolves have any sort of culture, mainly because Shadow doesn’t really know either, but she has noticed that he likes to nuzzle a lot and she thinks it’s sweet. Occasionally she pretends to be asleep and he rubs his cheek against her shoulder repeatedly, it takes a lot of effort not to giggle at him. She’s even noticed once or twice when a dog barks nearby that he tenses, like he’s trying not to howl back. Shadow’s just glad that he can eat chocolate.

Something cold suddenly hits Gini on the arm, and upon inspection she finds it’s wet. The first drop of a Spring shower, descending on them out of nowhere from the single cloud above. She smiles and wrinkles her nose as another raindrop splats across her face, but her delight at the fresh drizzle is cut short as she looks at Shadow. He flinches when the water hits him, panic setting in immediately as it leaves a red mark on his skin.

“Oh fuck! Shit!” Feverish mumbles and profanities leave his mouth as he backs himself up along the ground, scrambling under the nearest tree for protection.

Gini gets to her feet and hurries to his side, holding her arm over his head to block some of the rain. “We have to go back to the tent before you get hurt!” A pause, Shadow doesn’t move, “Shadow?”

There’s a familiar expression on his face - his eyes open wide yet unfocused, clouded over and far away, his mouth hangs open slightly as he struggles to draw breath - and Gini knows what this is.

Acid runs down Shadow’s face. A second ago he was vaguely aware of someone in front of him, saying something important, but that can’t be right. He hasn’t been anywhere except here for… he’s not sure how long. He can’t move because his limbs are chained down with silver shackles that dig into his flesh and burn just as much as the acid raining on him. From experience he knows there’s no point in crying out, no point in trying not to feel it. For a long time, he hoped someone would come for him, one of the people that he sees when they fill him full of drugs and leave him in this cell to rot away to nothing. But he stopped hoping. They hurt him in new ways this time around. Make him see things that aren’t there, like the people whose names he refuses to think of, just in case they can use that against him. In case they find those people and bring them here in chains. But he still sees them, and he watches as they hurt and die in front of him, and he snaps his wrists and rips his ankles trying to break free and get to them and help them, even though he knows they can’t really be there. He screams when his children bleed on the cell floor and he cries when they scream back. Memories of torture play out in front of him and somewhere in the distance a woman is shouting his name. But she’s not real, she can’t be, so he doesn’t answer.

“Shadow!”

Rain continues to fall, and Gini is thankful that the leafy canopy above is thick enough to shield them from most of the downpour. Worry creases her face as she leans over Shadow, taking the brunt of the weather on her back. She had thought that he was past this stage, although her better judgement knows that healing isn’t linear. Maybe she just hoped he was past it. She kneels on the ground next to him and takes his face between her hands, his expression doesn’t change.

“Can you hear me?” Gini asks softly, but there’s no indication that he can.

Gini has dealt with a lot of PTSD victims, she’s good with them because her ability to remain calm helps them to relax. Most of them are men who hear gunfire when there is none or hide in corners and cower as they remember the things they’ve seen. But never has she dealt with someone who recedes inside themselves the way that Shadow does now. It scares her to think that he might not come out of it, although he always has before. Most times he can respond to her, and she talks about anything and everything to take his mind off it. She can only think of two occasions it’s gotten this bad.

The first time she had stirred in the middle of the night to find Shadow sitting motionless in the middle of the bed, his head turned toward the window as if he was looking out of it, despite the curtains being drawn. Neither of them is sure how long he had been sitting there. It had taken Gini half an hour of shaking him gently and whispering words of encouragement to pull him out of it, and the first thing he had asked her was if she was really there. The second time she had taken him to visit Sharon, for a family get together they had been arranging. Gini had only taken her eyes off him for a moment, as the kids dragged him to the living room to show him something. And then there was a smashing sound as Shadow’s fist had collided with a mirror hanging on the wall, and before anyone could process what had happened, he was on the floor shaking. No one was sure whether to be angry or concerned, but Gini had taken one look at his face and realised what was happening. It was Sharon that had reached him first, and it was clear that she knew something was wrong, but to Gini’s surprise her presence seemed to make Shadow’s condition worsen. Gini feels guilty that there was a brief sense of satisfaction to know that she was the only one that could help him when an episode gets that bad. Out of all the voices in his head that fight for attention as he loses his sense of reality, hers isn’t one of them, and that helps pull him back as she speaks to him. When he had snapped out of it he had asked her who he looked like, which confused her, until he explained that he had mistaken his reflection for his father.

“If you were anything like him, we wouldn’t all love you as much as we do.” Is what she had told him, and she had meant it even then.

The weather clears as abruptly as it had clouded over. Gini lets out a sigh of relief, and Shadow’s expression shifts slightly as the sound of rain pelting the surface of the lake dissipates.

She brushes the hair out of his face and speaks softly, “I know you can hear me, mister. And you can’t hide away because of some rain when you’re meant to be out here having a good time with me.”

A frown establishes itself on Shadow’s brow, and Gini takes his hand.

“Do you remember the first time you made me breakfast in bed? The toast was burned because you forgot to take it out of the toaster, but you made the fluffiest omelette I’ve ever had. No one had ever done that for me before.”

Recognition flashes across his face as his fingers start to grip Gini’s hand.

A grin spreads over her lips as Shadow’s eyes refocus, “Shadow?”

He lets out a shaky breath, “S-Sorry…”

Gini pulls him into a hug, her arms slipping around his neck. A wave of relief washes over her as she feels him return the gesture.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Shadow can feel his eyes fill with tears and he stutters gratefully, “Th-Thank fuck you’re here.”

They hold each other for a long while, simply thankful for the company, and for each other.

-x-

The rest of the afternoon passes without any more unfortunate turns in the weather. Shadow recovered from his episode quickly, at least he forces himself to for Gini’s sake. Still she hovers protectively, keeping within his bubble of personal space in case something else happens. They follow a different path back to their clearing, which takes enough time for the rain to dry out of Gini’s dress. The woods, now coated in a layer of moisture, smells strongly of greenery and earth. Gini takes a moment to shake the pools of water from the roof of the tent, so it doesn’t cave in. Luckily, they had tucked the pack of supplies inside before they left, so everything is dry. Shadow pulls a sheet of tarp from it and lays it out across the grass, so they have a place to sit down. They sit close together, until Shadow decides to lie on his back with his head in Gini’s lap. She runs her fingers through his hair and scratches leisurely behind his ear.

“Mm, you’re good at that.” He purrs and closes his eyes.

“All my years of petting kitties is paying off.” Gini laughs.

She falls quiet as she studies his face. There are lines that she’s sure never used to be there, but he doesn’t look as tired as he did a few months ago. She’s sure the same is probably true of her. Her fingers trace his features; along the taught skin of his jaw and over his speckled cheekbones. Shadow looks at her and raises his own hand to do the same. He sweeps his thumb down the concave line of her nose before stroking the soft skin underneath her eye. Gini smiles as his palm rests on her cheek.

“Never thought I’d get to have this again.” Shadow mumbles.

“Have what?” Gini tilts her head to lean into his hand.

“Being like this with someone… ‘Specially someone as perfect as you.”

Gini can feel her face flush. “You’re a liar.” She teases, but Shadow frowns.

He sits up, so their lips meet for a moment, then his forehead stays in contact with hers.

“You’re perfect to me, I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks.”

The way he says it makes Gini’s stomach lurch with nerves. It’s a sincere admission, but Shadow has a habit of making things sound unnecessarily harsh, so the words stick with Gini as being sweet and aggressive. Perhaps that rather accurately sums up how she would describe him.

“Except you,” Shadow adds, “I care what you think about it.”

“I think I believe you. And that I love you.”

A smile reaches his eyes and creases the corners of them, and Gini’s stomach lurches again.

-x-

Gini hums quietly as she cooks dinner. She keeps a watchful eye on Shadow, who is by the edge of the trees collecting something off the ground. The evening is clear and a lot warmer than the previous one, the ground around the fire has dried enough to sit on without getting them damp. Eggs sizzle in a pan, to which Gini’s stomach grumbles in response. Her mind wanders, as it often does when she’s left alone, and she thinks over the past couple of months. There have been a lot of sleepless nights, filled with worry and stress. Plenty of days have passed where Shadow wasn’t himself and she tiptoed around him, not wanting to bring on one of his episodes. The lows have been very low, and yet she thinks back and finds that the highs have been some of the best highs she’s had in recent years. When she had initially agreed to help Shadow, she had been nervous of what it would be like to live with him, but happy to help her family. Despite all the bad days, he’s made her laugh more than anyone else, and filled her apartment with music and life. A hand covering her eyes breaks her train of thought.

“I have a present for you.” Shadow says, a smile in his voice.

Gini giggles, “What is it? I can’t see, I don’t want to burn our food.”

There’s a scuffing sound and a soft exhaling of breath. The hand in front of her eyes is removed and Gini finds Shadow kneeling in front of her to the side of the fire, holding out what appears to be a crown he’s fashioned out of small twigs and leaves. A dark coloured berry sits at the very front like a jewel, held in place with scrunched up balls of grass that resemble beads. Gini’s eyes widen as she looks at it.

“Did you make this right now?” She gasps.

“Yeah.” Shadow clears his throat before continuing in the closest he can get to a regal accent, “I present to you, Lord Gini… Lordess?” A beat, “Your Ladyship! I crown thee Queen of the Woods. Long live the Queen!”

With a bow he delicately places the crown atop her head. Gini clasps a hand over her mouth as she starts laughing. She nudges his shoulder playfully.

“You’re such a goof!”

“How can I serve the Queen?” Shadow lifts his head and raises a questioning eyebrow.

Gini thinks for a moment, “You can finish cooking these eggs for me.”

“Yes ma'am.” And with that he shifts to face the fire and jostles the pan.

Gini smiles as she plants a kiss on his cheek, to which Shadow feigns a surprised gasp.

“How scandalous!”

They enjoy their scandalously prepared eggs in the peace of a quiet evening.

-x-

Night descends quickly on the clearing, though the stars are hidden behind a veil of clouds. At the threat of another spring shower Shadow had hidden himself inside the tent, and after balancing her crown on the roof, Gini had joined him. She sits with her legs inside the sleeping bag, her phone lying upside down by her feet, so they have light to see by. There’s a book in her hands which Shadow takes a few minutes to read the title of - The Time Traveller’s Wife - and he assumes it must be some sort of romance novel. He watches her face as her eyes scan the pages. Sometimes she reads the lines quickly, but usually it looks like she takes her time. When the story takes an exciting turn her breathing quickens and she hunches herself over, so her face is closer to the paper. Shadow doesn’t understand reading, but he thinks Gini makes it look so easy. There’s a permanent look of concentration on her face that he finds adorable to watch, as it changes into a faint smile or, at times, an irritated frown. He thinks it must be like having a movie play out in your head, but with only words that make up the pictures. Gini catches him looking at the book out of the corner of her eye and puts her finger on the page to keep her place as she turns her head.

“Do you want me to read it to you?”

Shadow’s cheeks flush. He’s reminded of the times he’s seen Sharon read bedtime stories to their children, and it inherently makes him feel stupid for not being able to do something so simple himself. Gini takes his silence as an answer.

“You might like it. It’s about a man that jumps through time…” She explains the plot as simply as she can without giving anything away.

Shadow finally answers her once she finishes, “You don’t gotta do that, you looked really into it by yourself.”

Gini offers him a smile, she’s well aware of the embarrassed look on his face, “It’s okay, I don’t mind. Stories are meant for sharing.”

“No, it’s fine.” He doesn’t sound convincing, in fact he would love to sit and listen to her speak at length.

Gini has asked to read to him before and had this same reaction. Her plan to begin with was to find a book he would like and read it to him, so that he might be more open to learning how to read it for himself. But any time the topic arises Shadow refuses to let her help, and Gini knows this is simply because he doesn’t want to feel inadequate. She rests her hand on his arm gently.

“Do you know how I feel when you play guitar?”

Shadow frowns, “Like you want me to shut the hell up?”

“No, silly, I love your music. But it makes me wish I knew how to do it too. I can’t imagine being as good as you are at it.” Her voice is soft as she tries to get her point across, “Just because you can’t do something doesn’t mean you can’t be good at other things.” Shadow thinks this over as Gini continues, “And sometimes we can do things as a team. I can’t play guitar, and you can’t read - but you can play guitar, and I can read. So, we’re the same, see?”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” He sighs.

“So… do you want me to read to you?”

There’s an anxious pause, and then, “Uh huh.”

Shadow scoots closer to Gini as she starts reading aloud from her place on the page. His head falls on her shoulder, and he closes his eyes as she speaks. Her voice seems a lot more animated as she tells the story, and at points she adds in her own sound effects, which he finds funny, but he keeps quiet so not to disturb her. Shadow’s heard her doing the same thing when she plays with her cats.  
Gini gets through several chapters before a yawn escapes her, and it’s not until she glances at Shadow that she realises he’s already dozing. She slides her feline themed bookmark into place and slots the novel away safely along with her phone before rubbing his shoulder.

“Shadow?” She mumbles as she opens the sleeping bag for him.

He grunts in response and crawls in beside her. They assume a similar position as the previous night, although this time Shadow keeps his head near Gini’s shoulder. In the dark she feels his lips meet her neck, she blushes at the contact.

“Love you.” Is all he can muster to say.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
